Monday, February 11, 2008

Sometimes He comes in the clouds...

So for the past 4 weeks it has rained NON-STOP here in Taipei. No exaggeration, the sun has not shone at all in these last 4 weeks, with the exception of 1 Sunday back in January and 1 hour on a Wednesday a few weeks ago. Needless to say it has been depressing and just downright annoying. On top of it being non-stop grey skies and rain, it has also been cold. Just not the best mixture of weather characteristics in my opinion.

And it really is a strange phenomenon to me how weather like this can really affect your attitude and outlook on life.

Lately, it seems like the days are passing by slower and slower. I have also been feeling that way about my prayers and the receiving of the answers to them. I am not losing heart per se, but I am getting a bit weary and anxious. Yet in this weariness and anxiety, I am learning that even though it seems like God isn't listening or is moving a bit slow on answering prayers; therefore it seems like He doesn't care that I have deadlines to meet and such....He is still there. He loves me. He hears my prayers. He has my best interest at heart. He knows my needs (better than I do) and He knows my wants.

And in response He says, " strong and take heart, and wait..." "Be still and know that I am God..." "Cease your striving..." "Delight yourself in [Me]" "Come to Me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest" "Do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in EVERYTHING, with thanksgiving, present your requests to [Me] and [My] peace which passes all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus..." (Psalm 27:14; 46:10- NIV & NASB; 37:4; Matt.11:28-30; Phil.4:6-7).

Whew...what a great and mighty God we have. He is so good to take care of us in so many ways...providing for our every need (not to be confused with our 'wants') (Phil.4:19; Matt. 6:25-34); showing inexhaustible mercy, patience, love, grace, and forgiveness to us (Psalm 103, 136, 145; 1 Tim.1:12-17; Rom.5:8).

So in light of all these great and precious promises of His mighty care and love for me....why do I struggle so? Why am I still struggling to get to sleep at night and feel anxiety in my heart? Do I lack that much faith in such a trustworthy, faithful God?

I'm not sure. This is something I am still trying to figure out. Maybe it is a lack of faith. Maybe I am just reverting to my control freak tendencies and trying to control my future and God is trying to teach me to rest in Him. Maybe it's this dumb weather....haha. Whatever it is, I am still learning to choose to praise the rain, or eventually in the sunshine (whenever He lets it show its glorious self again!). All I know the old adage says, "when you can't trace His hand, trust His heart."

There is a song that I have known since I became a child of God soon to be 13 years ago...that has become a minister of comfort to me in this time of waiting on the Lord once again.

Here are the lyrics:

These are the places I was so sure I'd find Him
I've looked in the pages
And I've looked down on my knees
I've lifted my eyes in expectation
To see the sun still refusing to shine, but...

Sometimes He comes in the clouds
Sometimes His face cannot be found
Sometimes the sky is dark and grey
But some things can only be known
And sometimes He comes in the clouds

[Verse 2:]
Sometimes I see me, a sailor out on the ocean
So brave and so sure as long as the skies are clear
But when the clouds start to gather
I watch my faith turn to fear, but...


Sometimes He comes in the rain
And we question the pain
And wonder why God can seem so far away
But time will show us
He was right there with us, and...

This is a song by Steven Curtis Chapman. I appreciate the truth in it. I appreciate that God uses music in such cool ways to minister to His children and meet them where they are at. Thank you, Lord.

Even when I am afraid, I will trust in You (Psalm 56:3).

Thanks for taking the time to read these ramblings of mine.

1 comment:

Kristi said...

ummmmmmmmmmm yea. Thanks for reading my blog, I am now reading yours as well and find your thoughts very encouraging and uplifting. Thanks for allowing your faith to radiate even all the way across the universe! :) I miss you musty, come home soon. Love, KB