Friday, October 02, 2009


These past few days have been pretty tough. It started Wednesday of this week. I was driving home, having a great conversation with a friend about how thankful I was for where the Lord has me at this time in my life. I was expressing thanks for being able to live in Ohio, with and near family, and for the new friends I have made along the way while being in Ohio. Some of those things I never thought I would say (such as being thankful to live in Ohio again!). Then I got home...

It seemed like all pooh (yes, I said 'pooh') hit the my statements literally blew up in my face.
Basically, there was another argument about finances with my grandfather. And ashamedly I admit, I blew up about it. I blew up for a number of reasons, some possibly justified reasons, but overall it wasn't good to get angry like I did. And as it says in James 1:20- "for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." Put that along with James 4:1-12 and I am realizing more and more that this anger (that I didn't realize I had) that is in me is something I need to be continually submitting to the Lord and asking Him for help.

Seeing and experiencing this anger as well as the other generational sins that surround me within my family has been WRETCHED!

SIN steals, kills, and destroys (cf. John 10:10). It steals/robs a person of joy, peace, fellowship with people, and most importantly of all, God. It kills your liveliness, your happiness, your focus. And it destroys you- your relationships, your health (mental, emotional, physical), and life (physical and spiritual). It is PAINFUL. It hardens and makes one calloused and insensitive to God and others. I feel like I have been watching this tangibly before my eyes with those whom I work with in my job, but mostly in my relationship with my grandfather and me and I HATE IT.

It enrages me to no end. There's no peace, no calmness in the home; there's no joy, no trust, no respect...all those good things have been replaced with frustration, anger, edginess, tension, heaviness of heart, discouragement, arguments, selfishness, lies, and just downright agony. I'm glad it doesn't end there though, and that it won't stay that way forever.

I feel like this is just a very tiny speck of a glimpse of how sin has separated us from God and the agony He feels over our sin and the excruciating pain He went through in His passion and on the Cross for make a Way for us to be able to come back to restore that fellowship that we gave up and lost when disobedience in the Garden of Eden entered the picture. He went through so much to restore the peace and the joy that comes only through Him. He was wounded for us that we might be healed from all our ailments (spiritual, and eventually physical too). He died to bring us abundant Life in Him.
And it is ONLY by HIM, for HIM, and through HIM that there is real Life. May we all look to Him and take Him at His word that we may receive Life in His Name (John 1:1-18).

"...I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." ~ Jesus

O, Praise Him.

1 comment:

Brando said...

great post, Misty. Thanks for sharing about real life issues and how God is using them to change you. I deal with some of the same things. May God continue to blow us away with His amazing love!